Trichophilia
by KissMeDeadlyT-T
Summary: There are some things that Allen likes to keep to himself. Other things, though, he can't hide; his desperate attraction to Kanda and his long hair being the most pressing of them. -Yullen, yaoi, language, smut in second chapter.
1. Chapter 1

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: It's been so long since I've written something Yullen! Sadly, I've kind of been in a sort-of writer's block where I can't write **_**anything**_** except Roy/Ed but I had this sitting around in my folder and decided that I would give it a go. I have to freaking write **_**something**_** for my second OTP sheeesh.**

**So yeah, I managed to finish the first part of it. The next chapter should be up soon-ish and it'll be the reason this is rated M. It might take a bit longer since I've got school starting this week and I'll be busy with that but I'll try to get it done quickly. (For real this time. I'm gonna try not to leave this one hanging like some of my other fics that I haven't updated in like… a year…)**

**I don't see the point in a disclaimer since I'm posting this on Fanfiction and therefore it is a FANFICTION, but yeah, D Gray Man ain't mine.**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

There were some things that Allen liked to keep to himself. For example, his past. The time he spent as a travelling clown with Mana— the happiest years of his life, the years that left a nostalgic, twisting pain in his heart. These were things he was used to keeping private, and it had become routine enough that he didn't even have to consciously think about hiding it anymore. He just _did_. Allen, through all of his years of struggles and pain and suffering, had become the Master of Lies; the King of Deception; the Guru of Fake Smiles. Without batting an eye, he was able to keep essentially anything that he didn't want others to know hidden behind a fake smile and cheerful mask that concealed his thoughts like a jester's mask hid his face.

Some things, though, Allen _couldn't_ hide. Masking his thoughts came as easily as breathing; but controlling his body's emotions wasn't quite as easy. Granted, he _was_ sixteen— puberty in full swing, hormones raging a storm of sexual need and emotional disaster inside of him. His body did what it wanted, when it wanted, and there was no amount of fake smiling in the world that could hide it. So he couldn't blame himself for this. Really.

It wasn't like it was _his_ fault that he was already horny more than half the time he was awake. He thought that since his life was such a traumatic war zone that maybe his body would just forgo the whole awkwardness of puberty, but since when did fate or whatever like him, anyway? It didn't, ever, really— and that was just proven by the whole fact that Allen had a _terrible_ sexual kink for long, shiny hair, and that Kanda had chosen today of all days to leave his hair down. It couldn't have been yesterday, when Allen had only seen him for a brief five minutes in the cafeteria; nope, it had to be _today_, when he was sitting barely two feet away from Allen, skin gleaming with a faint sheen of sweat, face pinched irritably at having been pulled away from his katana training for a mission debriefing, cheek resting boredly on his slender hand. Allen tried not to stare. Really. And anyway, who the fuck trained with their hair down like that? Didn't Kanda realize how impractical that was?

_Bastard_, Allen thought bitterly. _He's doing this on purpose_. Except for he wasn't, because Kanda probably could not care less about Allen's blatant desire and _carnal need_ to _just_— _Allen. Stop. Thinking._

Allen felt a little short of breath. The collar of his exorcist jacket felt just a bit too tight. He tried to focus on what Komui was saying— _really_, he _did_— but he couldn't make his eyes look away from Kanda's perfect hair and Kanda's perfect face and Kanda's perfect body and Kanda's perfect _everything_. It was so miserably distracting that he couldn't even hear himself think, let alone listen to what Komui was telling them. Even when he tried to keep his eyes glued firmly on the map that Komui was pointing at and tried to absorb information that was probably critical to the mission's success, he could still see Kanda in his peripheral view. Soft-looking black strands fell about Kanda's unimpressed face, slightly tousled from training. It clung to his strong arms and tight black muscle shirt, brushing over the jagged tattoo creeping onto Kanda's left shoulder, contrasting against the creamy whiteness of his skin.

Allen felt hot. His cheeks were burning on their own accord and _God_, he hoped they weren't as red as they were warm. _Crap_, he thought, fighting the urge to fan himself with his hand, _this isn't fair_. Silently, he prayed that Kanda would have the sudden urge to use the tie around his wrist and put his hair up.

He didn't.

Allen kept a poker face, but released a wretched groan inside his head. If Kanda could read his mind… well, he was just really glad Kanda couldn't read his mind. He shut his eyes for a moment. He had to calm down. He needed to make his heart stop thundering so hard against his chest; he needed to make the blood that was rushing south to the center of his body _stop_ and direct it back to his brain. It simply couldn't be at two heads at once and one needed it _way_ more than the other in order to pay attention to this debriefing before it was over. He needed to hear this information. If he didn't, he'd have an angry Kanda on his back for the next five days, griping about how he should have been listening to Komui and that he was messing up the mission, and Allen wouldn't be able to do anything but weep because Kanda would be _right_.

His body refused to listen. His hormones refused to let him sit there and feel calm. Instead, they formed little tiny, nagging voices in Allen's starving brain, and snickered, _"Heck no, Allen, instead of doing what you need to, you're going to sit here and get hot and bothered because Kanda Yuu, in all of his bastardly gloriousness, is fucking hot."_

An involuntary shudder rippled up his spine. His fingers twitched. He just wanted to touch Kanda— and more specifically, his _hair_. He just wanted to run his fingers through it, to see if it was as soft as he imagined it was. It probably wasn't, since Allen's mind tended to glorify and make everything ten times godlier than it really was when it came to Kanda, but still. It was beautiful just the same. He remembered the times when they were on missions together and had had to use the same shower rooms, how Kanda would take his hair out of its ponytail and run his callused fingers through it, tugging out the kits, wetting it down until it was a wavy, tangled mess down his pale back, and _oops_, he _probably_ shouldn't be thinking about Kanda in the shower right now. It wasn't exactly helping his situation. His pants felt tight around the crotch, so he hastily crossed his legs to hide it, forcing a smile on his face when Komui glanced at him in concern.

After a moment of staring, Komui went on debriefing the mission, and Allen went on trying to ignore Kanda and his stupid hair. Kanda shifted then, and the hair that had been resting on his shoulder slid down his muscled arm and stopped, caught in the crook of his elbow. Allen's breath caught and he snapped his eyes away, heart pounding and a cold sweat breaking out all over his body. Oh god oh god oh god oh fuck. Oh _fuck_, why did Kanda have to choose _now_ to not wear a freaking ponytail? At least when his hair was up, Allen could stay calm and normal, maybe with a slight flush on his cheeks, but nothing close to this hot mess he was turning into now.

Kanda turned his head slightly to give Allen a narrow eyed, annoyed look, and that was it; his bangs falling messily about his cold, handsome face, strays getting caught on his thick black eyelashes, curtains of ink-colored hair falling across the shirt that did nothing to hide the delicious body underneath— Allen couldn't take it anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut until it hurt and he could see fireworks and bit his cheeks in a desperate attempt to distract himself with pain. Maybe he could do it. Maybe he could ignore the pressure between his legs for just a few more minutes and not lose his mind in the process.

With a 'tch', Kanda turned his head again and muttered something about stupid brain-dead bean sprouts being fucking weird. His hair piled on one shoulder, teetering there before slowly falling and brushing softly along the curve of his deltoid.

Allen whimpered.

Komui stopped talking, eyebrows furrowing in concern as he glanced over at Allen, who was slouched down and all but curled into a ball in the corner of the couch. Kanda was glaring at him again, though his gaze was openly tinted with curiosity now. Allen wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow him and never let him be seen again, so he could just _escape_ this torture already. Because— fuck this was _so_ embarrassing.

"Is there something wrong?" Komui asked, sounding genuinely worried. "You don't look too good. Have you eaten lately?"

Allen heard Kanda give a derisive snort at that, and nodded feebly. He had had more than enough at lunch— over twenty dishes and at least four of them mitarashi dango. He could remember a few hours ago when Kanda was scowling at him from across the table, muttering about his lack of etiquette, brushing his bangs out of his face, and—oh fuck Allen didn't want to be thinking about his _fucking hair_ right now.

"I'm fine," he managed, forcing a smile. "I'm just a bit tired, is all." Usually, a lie like this would work, but Komui didn't seem too convinced.

"Are you sure? This is just an information gathering mission. I can always send someone else."

Kanda seemed very displeased about this. "Why? I can go alone."

Komui pursed his lips. "I don't like that, you see. Kanda, I realize that you are an exceptional exorcist, but there is always a chance that you will run into akuma, and a chance you won't be able to handle them alone." Kanda frowned and was about to complain, but Komui pressed on firmly. "I'd send you alone if I was certain there were no or minimal akuma in the area, or with someone else, but unfortunately Marie is gone and no one else who is here can leave or makes a practical team with you, fighting wise and personality wise."

"Right, and the bean sprout does?"

"It's Allen," Allen said automatically, not even mad, just for something to say so that he didn't feel so awkward. It didn't work all that well because Kanda just rolled his eyes at him.

"_Yes_," Komui said before they could begin bickering. "You and Allen make an excellent team, because your abilities balance each other out and both of you have a quality for the other's flaw. Despite your… disagreements, I'd say you two are one of the best teams we've got." He clapped his hands together. "Alright, so will you two accept the mission?"

Kanda said nothing, looking pissed off, and so Allen swallowed the awkwardness in his throat and said, "Of course. Right, Kanda?"

"Whatever."

"Great." Allen nodded at this as though it were a decent response and not a sassy Kanda one. "So when do we leave?" _Please not right away oh my god I need time to calm down and take a fifty hour long cold shower, oh god—_

"You'll be departing at seven tonight, which means you have four hours to prepare." Komui scrambled about the many papers in his desk and then found a document folder, which he handed to Allen. "You'll find the rest of what you need to know in here. I suggest looking it over on the train ride there."

"Fine," Kanda said curtly. "Can we go?"

"Yes, you're dismissed~"

Allen really wanted to get out of there first, so he didn't have to walk behind Kanda and watch his hair swing of so deliciously between his shoulder blades and brush against the firm butt that Allen totally _never_ checked out, ever. He stood up at fast as he could without looking guilty, though if Kanda's strange look meant anything, he failed, and miserably. He played it off as hunger and forced a smile.

"I'm starving! Are you gonna get anything to eat before we leave?"

Kanda shrugged. "Maybe."

Allen nodded, trying to ignore the fact that Kanda wasn't brushing past him and walking off or drifting somewhere behind him like usual, but was instead walking next to him as they went up the stairs. Really, normally Allen would be happy about this, but right now, when he was in the midst of a sexually frustrated nervous breakdown— well, it wasn't the best situation for him. They walked in silence (which was weird, too) until they reached the sleeping quarters. Allen expected Kanda to turn left and go the way back to the training grounds, but instead, he just stopped walking and gave Allen a hard look.

"What the fuck is your problem today?"

For a moment Allen was too enthralled to say anything. Kanda really looked beautiful, standing there in all his godly anger with his dark gray eyes narrowed to slits and dark hair falling like curtains around his shoulders. His mouth dry, he tried to think of an answer. God, he hated this. He wished he could go back to hating Kanda and being blind to how fucking_ attractive _he was.

He was suddenly torn out of his daze as Kanda shoved him against the wall and growled, "_Bean sprout_. What. The. Fuck?"

Allen responded as his instincts told him to. "I'm not a bean sprout! My name is Allen, damn it!" he shouted, pushing Kanda back.

"Fine, _Allen_." Kanda punched the wall next to Allen's head and leaned closer again, not missing when Allen gulped and flicked his eyes away from his face. "You've been staring at me all day and you all but fainted like a bitch in Komui's office. What the _fuck _is wrong with you?"

Kanda was so close that Allen could reach his hand out a bit and run his fingers through his hair, if he wanted, and God did he ever want to. However, he also wanted to live, so he refrained. In his mind, he slowly counted up to ten, and then said, "You're imagining things, Kanda. I don't know why anyone would stare at _you_." Then he smirked and added, "And really, if you were looking at me often enough to accuse me of staring at you all the time, then I would like to ask why you were looking at _me_."

"It's hard_ not_ to when you can feel eyes burning into the side of your fucking _head_."

"Yeah, well, maybe that's why I was staring at you, because I could feel you staring at me." Allen was bluffing, really, but he was going to roll with it because Kanda was getting pissed and distracted from his original question. Allen praised himself. He really was a genius sometimes. He was pretty nervous that Kanda was standing so close and his rather perverted hormonal body was getting all sorts of ideas, so to distract himself, he said, "Got nothing to say?"

Kanda's eyes narrowed. "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

Allen tried to repress a shudder at the sound of Kanda's voice so deliciously low right next to his ear. God, could this situation get any more awkward? "Hey," he muttered, "it was your idea."

"No, it wasn't."

"Yeah it was."

"No it wasn't."

"Yes. It was, Kanda."

Kanda was most likely about to punch him in the face, but a nervous titter to his left distracted him. Allen followed his gaze and saw a red-faced Miranda gaping at them, hands covering her mouth as she trembled so much her dark brown curls bounced.

"O-oh—Allen, K-Kanda—am I… am I interrupting something?" she stuttered, face turning an even darker red.

"What?" Allen asked blankly.

"I-I mean— I'm so sorry!" She hid her face in her hands. "Oh, I won't tell anyone, please don't hurt me!" That last comment was directed mostly Kanda's way. For a moment, Kanda looked as confused as Allen felt, and then something seemed to click. Flushing angrily, he shoved away from Allen and said something under his breath that Allen didn't quite catch but suspected was quite offensive to his person. He gaped between Kanda and Miranda for a moment.

Then it fell together for him too. The way Kanda had been looming over him, pinning him against the wall, and the heated gaze of anger they'd likely been sharing _could have_ been interpreted as like, Allen didn't know, passion or something. Not to mention the fact that Allen had been blushing the whole time because Kanda smelled really nice and his body felt warm and his hair was so beautiful. Oh God, Miranda thought she had interrupted some sort of _rendezvous. _He turned bright red and stuttered, "Oh—Oh god! No! Miranda—we were _fighting_—"

"No! No!" She waved her hands and babbled, "You don't have to pretend, it's okay, I don't mind homosexual relationships, I mean, I know we're supposed to think they're sinful, but I don't care, and I won't tell anyone, please don't hurt me, oh my God I'm so _sorry_, oh, what a horrible day, I'm such a horrible person I don't even know why I _exist_—Please, don't kill me, Kanda, and don't hate me, Allen, I'm not judging you, really! I won't tell anyone—"

"Miranda!" Allen shouted, his face growing steadily darker with every word. "Stop! Stop apologizing! There is nothing between Kanda and I! Nothing! We were arguing. You know, like we always do?"

"B-but—Lavi said—" Her eyes widened then, and she slapped her hands to her mouth. "Oh no."

Suddenly, a dark aura appeared around Kanda, and he turned onto her with a murderous look. "Lavi said _what_?"

"Nothing! Nothing!"

"What did he say?" Allen demanded. "I'll kill him!"

"Not if I get to him first!"

"Shut up, Kanda, he's mine!"

"I knew him first!"

"I don't fucking care!"

"Guys?"

They ceased bickering at Miranda's timid voice. She swallowed and started to back up. "All Lavi said was that you two were— were attracted to each other, and that—th-that… Don't kill me!" She wailed again.

"The only person who's going to die is Lavi," Allen reassured her. "What did he say?"

Miranda's eyes were huge and teary. "That… you guys didn't know how to deal with your attraction to one another, so you… um, took out your sexual frustrations on each other. By fighting all the time."

"…Sexual frustrations," Kanda said flatly.

"Yes. That."

It was silent a long, long time, and Allen thought idly that perhaps a tumbleweed should bounce by and add to the incredibly awkward and tense atmosphere. Then Miranda wailed and took off running in the opposite direction, crying apologies and begging for forgiveness, leaving a shocked Allen with an equally stunned looking Kanda. They both stood there like morons for another minute, and then Allen weakly said, "Oh my God."

Kanda made a huffing sound. "Well, that explains a lot."

"What the hell does that mean?" Allen blurted, facing Kanda with a red face and wide eyes. Kanda just looked away, and Allen all but screeched like a banshee. "Don't fucking look away, you asshole! What do you mean, that explains a lot!"

"You should go get ready," Kanda said dismissively, turning around. "We just wasted half an hour, and you have yet to eat out Jerry's food supply and I still have to finish training and shower." Then he walked away, leaving Allen gaping after him in utter shock and trembling in anger.

"Kanda!" he yelled. "Tell me what you meant!"

"Shut the fuck up, beansprout. God, you're annoying."

"Oh, awesome. I just fucking love your sass. Do you lack the ability to be a decent human being or something?"

"What gave it away?"

"_Kanda_. Answer the goddamn question or I swear to God I'll rip that pretty hair out and sell it to someone who has the personality to match it."

Kanda just snorted at that, throwing a narrow-eyed look back at Allen who was nearly frothing at the mouth in irritation. "Judging from how pissed off you are, I think you know _exactly_ what I meant, bean sprout."

This made Allen shut up, eyes practically bulging out of his head as Kanda swiftly rounded the corner, hair trailing behind him and then disappearing too. Allen couldn't bring himself to move for a long moment, completely stunned. Had Kanda… was he… was he saying that Lavi was right? No way. That would be admitting that they were sexually attracted to each other, and while Allen knew _he_ felt that way… He _never_ thought Kanda would feel the same. Ever.

He thought he might pass out.

_There is _no_ way._

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I just idk I love Kanda when he's being a bitch**

**Thanks for reading, if you got this far, and I'd appreciate some reviews if you're in the mood to leave one. *dorky grin and thumbs up***


	2. Chapter 2

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: Wow, thanks for all the reviews! Hopefully this doesn't disappoint.**

**Also, I'd like to apologize in advance if there are any really stupid typos or punctuation screw-ups. I wrote this on my iPod originally and I tried to catch all my mistakes, but there's always at least **_**one**_** really stupid mistake that I miss. If anyone catches one, feel free to let me know about it and I'll fix it.**

**Warning: Smut ahead. Enjoy?**

**xxXXxxXXxx**

Allen didn't know how long he stood there before realizing it would probably be a good idea to do something. Shaking his head to try and clear the shock of what had just happened from his mind, he began walking in the direction of his room, praying he wouldn't get lost because he really didn't think he'd be able to handle another conflict without having some sort of emotional breakdown. He had this sort of tingly feeling in his whole body, and a strange fluttery nervous feeling in his stomach— he was dreading this mission even more, now, because now he was confused. He'd been fine with knowing he had a petty crush on the older exorcist, and yes, an unhealthy fetish for the man's hair, but throw in the possibility that Kanda wanted him too, and Allen's view of their semi-friendship/bitter rival relationship was completely thrown off.

Why would Kanda even want him, anyway? The first thing he'd said was that he didn't shake hands with someone who was cursed, and he'd certainly made no move to show that he even remotely cared for Allen in any way. He said he hated Allen because he was naïve, too reckless and too emotional. And Allen knew he looked weird— he had white hair and a weird scar on his eye, and a creepy, pitch black left arm, whereas Kanda was physically perfect in every aspect. He couldn't think of one reason Kanda would want him. It— well, it disappointed him, a bit, but he wasn't one to chase things he knew weren't real.

Thankfully, he found his room without any problems, and forced himself to not think about anything that had to do with Kanda.

He found Tim sleeping on his bed when he walked in, the gold golem making a grumpy sound when Allen switched on the light. It went back to sleep almost immediately, and Allen shook his head, grabbing his small suitcase from his closet. He put the folder Komui had given him in the net part then walked to his dresser. Robotically, he grabbed a few extra shirts, pants and boxers and threw them into the suitcase, grabbing a spare tooth brush and tooth paste and tossing them in too before snapping it shut. He flopped onto his bed next to Tim, smiling a bit when it crawled onto his lap and dozed off again, and shut his eyes.

Allen kind of sucked at keeping a leash on his thoughts, and they immediately began drifting towards Kanda again. Frustrated, Allen tried to force himself to think of something else—food, maybe, or the Earl, or the Fourteenth, or the mission, or—anything, really. But no. God, he hated puberty. Giving in, he just let his mind go where it wanted.

Allen quickly discovered that his mind was an incredible pervert.

Bright red and uncomfortably warm, he sat up, mumbling an apology when Tim grumbled as it rolled off his lap. He glanced at the time. It was four, now. Maybe a cold shower would help his mind from wandering places it really shouldn't.

He pushed himself off his bed and slid off his exorcist jacket, a sigh of relief leaving his lips at the comfort of being in just his casual white collared shirt and black pants. With that, he left his room and headed towards the shower room, walking fast because he didn't want to stop and meet anyone along the way. He wasn't in the mood to talk, especially since he had begun feeling the effects of arousal earlier and was sure that it showed.

Once he was in the shower room, which was thankfully completely empty, he shucked off the rest of his clothes, shoved them in a locker and grabbed one of the fluffy white towels on the shelf before the shower stalls, picking up a bar of Aloe soap and bottle of shampoo along the way. After setting his items on the little wooden bench across from the shower head, he turned to the taps and squeaked it to the point just before where hot and cold met, making lukewarm water spring forth from the metal showerhead. He shuddered at the cool water running down his skin, but didn't turn it up any hotter— he really needed to calm his body down, and this seemed to be doing the trick.

He shut his eyes and tilted his head up to the water, letting it run down his face and down the long, jagged scar across his chest, the coolness of it helping him clear his mind. This was one thing he loved about taking a shower; he didn't have to think.

Suddenly, he heard something and jerked, his eyes flying open. Tentatively, he poked his head out the side of the curtain, trying to figure out if there was someone there or if he'd just imagined it due to paranoia. No one appeared in the shower room, so he shrugged and retreated back into his stall, grabbing the shampoo bottle this time. He was lathering it onto his white hair when he heard another sound— this time, he was positive. There was someone else in here.

Allen supposed it wasn't a big deal— people came and went in the shower room all the time, whether they had just returned from a mission or had just finished training. He had sort of wanted privacy, but there wasn't much he could do about it. It wasn't as if he could tell the person to leave; the shower rooms were public, and if you decided to shower during the day, you'd have to accept the possibility of running into someone.

He heard the shower curtain from a few stalls down made a clinking sound as it was pulled open, then again as it was slid closed. Deciding he'd just ignore it, he shoved his head under the water and turned up the heat, rinsing off the suds and letting the hot water relax his tense muscles. He was beginning to let his mind drift again when that distinct sound of the curtain a few stalls away sliding open echoed through the room and Allen thought how odd it was that the person hadn't even taken a minute to shower. Then he heard the wet smack of bare feet approaching his stall.

He barely had time to react before a hand was yanking his curtain open. Once he realized what was happening, he shrieked and scrambled to cover himself, nearly managing to slip on the soap suds on the ground. He glared up at the intruder, only for his angry look to falter when he saw who it was.

"What the hell?" he asked weakly, holding the towel tight to the front of his body.

"You took the soap I always use," Kanda responded evenly, like it was perfectly normal for him to barge in on Allen's shower and say such a thing. Allen was so shocked that he was lost on the right way to react. Mostly, he was trying to ignore the fact that Kanda was _naked_. And _wet_. And— his hair. It was wet and tangled down his back, and Allen found his knees shaking and his mouth becoming horribly dry despite the steam forming in the air. How the hell could Kanda be so _shameless_? The urge to look down and sweep his eyes down Kanda's body was almost too strong to resist, and Allen found his cheeks burning with shame. Maybe just a glance. Yeah, he was a huge pervert, but he'd already realized and accepted that earlier. He still blamed his hormones. His eyes drifted downwards. Maybe Kanda wouldn't notice. Maybe—

"Are you brain-dead?" Kanda asked him with a glare, shoving past him and to the other side of the stall to grab the bar of soap.

Allen jolted like he'd just been zapped. His eyes flicked back up to Kanda's, and he desperately hoped that Kanda would be stupid enough to think that the blood staining Allen's cheeks was because it was so hot in here. Swallowing, he miraculously managed to draw up enough strength to say, "You couldn't have used a different soap for once?"

Kanda glared back at him, and Allen almost died because he had never seen Kanda like this so close up— of course, they'd had to share shower rooms before, but Allen had never really _seen_ Kanda. He was trying very hard _not_ to see Kanda, but he really couldn't help it. His eyes kept wandering and he had to force them back up and remind himself that Kanda wasn't blind (which was unfortunate because Allen would totally be ogling him completely right now if Kanda couldn't see) and that the swordsman would almost definitely notice if Allen kept up this jittery and not-so-stealthy checking out. He thanked the gods above that he had been smart enough to bring a towel into the stall, because right now it was hiding something that would cause a very awkward situation if Kanda could see it.

"Aloe is the only soap I use," Kanda answered shortly, avoiding looking Allen's way. He brushed past him again, and Allen was relieved because he didn't know how much longer he could handle Kanda standing nude in his shower stall, barely a metre away. Allen was rolling his eyes and turning back to throw the towel onto the bench when he accidentally caught a glimpse of Kanda shoving his hair out of his face just before he rounded the corner out of Allen's stall.

For some reason, this was enough to make Allen lose it, and he blurted, "Kanda, can I touch your hair?"

Kanda stopped and looked back at him incredulously, like he couldn't believe what he'd heard. "What the hell did you just say?"

Oh, crap. Allen felt his cheeks heat up, and it wasn't because of the hot water or the steam thickening the air around them. Mortified, he stuttered, "I-I mean— I don't know what I was saying, forget about it, I was just—"

Kanda turned to face him, crossing his arms and seemingly unaware of the fact that he was naked and sexy and completely out in the open for Allen to see. Still. Oh God. Allen desperately wished that Kanda would leave or cover himself. He couldn't quite make himself meet Kanda's annoyed, slanted eyes, so he focused on a random tile behind him, forcing his eyes to stay glued to that area like they'd get gouged out if he looked anywhere else. His peripheral vision betrayed him, though, and although it wasn't as satisfying as looking dead-on, it was still enough to make Allen squirm and make the blood pounding in his head rush down to where he _really didn't need it._

"You're doing it again," Kanda said irritably.

"D-doing what?" Allen asked nervously, holding the towel to his body and staring at the tile for dear life.

"Acting weird." Kanda took a step forward, and Allen stumbled back, making Kanda raise an eyebrow as though that proved everything. For a second, their eyes met, and Allen let out an insanely embarrassing squeak that made him want to bash his head off the wall. Quickly, he flicked his gaze away, biting his tongue between his clenched teeth. This was bad. Bad, bad, bad…

"Like that. What's your problem?"

"M-m-my— I don't—"

Kanda's lips curved into a slight smug smirk. "Is Lavi right?"

"Lavi?" Allen asked blankly.

"About the frustrations." When Allen continued looking lost, Kanda raised an eyebrow again. "The sexual frustrations, bean sprout."

Allen squawked indignantly, his heart skipping a beat and nearly forgetting to keep beating. "Sexual frustrations!" he said loudly, avoiding Kanda's piercing eyes and now staring very pointedly at the weird-looking wrinkle in the shower curtain. "Don't be ridiculous, you cocky twat!"

"Really?" Kanda asked dryly, taking a step closer. Allen refused to back away this time and stood his ground, even though his heart felt like it might take a leap out of his chest at any given moment. He clutched the towel so hard that his knuckles began to turn white. He didn't look up. He couldn't. If he looked at Kanda, he knew he would give in and he didn't think he could deal with that.

"Yeah," Allen said as steadily as he could despite that Kanda, naked, was barely two feet away and very much in his personal space. He could feel his heart pounding in his head. "Really."

"I think you're a liar," Kanda breathed, close enough that Allen could feel his cool breath on his wet skin. His hands were trembling around the towel and he backed up a step, jolting in surprise when he felt the hot water from the shower hit his head and back. He saw Kanda smirk out of the corner of his eye and felt his temper spike— Kanda was just playing with him. Anger bubbling in his stomach, Allen glared up at him, ignoring his pounding heart and shaking hands.

"I think you need to fuck off," he snapped in response. Kanda's smug look only got worse, and Allen was taking a deep breath to go on full rage mode, when Kanda very purposely raised one arm to shove his tangled black hair back, combing his fingers through it slowly and letting it wind through them. Allen's words died in his throat and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight, his mouth feeling dry. Kanda's smirk widened.

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" he asked lowly, walking forward and slowly backing the speechless Allen towards the bench. Allen was too enthralled and nervous and busy watching Kanda's wet hair fall back down onto his gleaming, pale skin to pay attention and ended up stumbling back when the back of his knees hit the wood. He fell onto the bench hard enough to jar his teeth and yelped in shock, but didn't have too much time to dwell on that because Kanda was roughly grabbing him by his shoulders and pulling him up until they were almost pressed together. Allen nearly dropped the towel and only managed to remember to keep it up because he needed something for his shaking hands to hold on to.

"Do you honestly think I haven't noticed you staring at me and how fucking jumpy you get when I'm around lately?" Kanda continued, eyes narrowing. "I have, and it's really starting to piss me off." Before Allen could die of humiliation, he was shoved against the wall and then Kanda was glaring and saying, "Maybe if you fucking _did_ something about it instead of just staring at me, we wouldn't have this problem."

Allen faltered, not quite sure he'd heard that right. He stared at Kanda with wide gray eyes. "What?"

"You let your emotions get the best of you every other time," Kanda pointed out, still in that irritated way.

"I— y-yeah, I guess, but I don't… I mean…"

"So why the hell don't you now?"

"I…"

Kanda remained silent. They stared at each other for a long time— Allen's eyes wide and confused while Kanda's narrowed in irritation. Out of the corner of his eye, Allen saw a strand of hair slide off of Kanda's shoulder down to his chest, and that was it. He finally snapped. They were standing too close, they were both naked and wet, and Kanda's hair clung to his back and chest and arms and it was so hot that Allen just couldn't take it anymore. How he'd managed to hang onto his control this long was a mystery, but it was a mystery that would go unsolved, because his mind was currently too occupied with Kanda's lips to think about much else.

It was a bit rougher than he meant— their lips would probably be bruised later, but right now, Allen couldn't find it in himself to care. Kanda's response was immediate, and Allen soon found himself pressed harder against the wall, until he felt like he might break, but he didn't care, and god, maybe he _wanted_ Kanda to break him.

Their tongues battled for dominance of the kiss between gasps for breath. The kiss was intense and harsh and biting, just like the arguments they shared, but he didn't think he'd have it any other way— he doubted anything would _ever_ be gentle with Kanda, but he didn't care because that wouldn't be right anyway. _This_ was how it should be. His lungs were burning, his mind reeling with the sensation of Kanda's smooth lips moving against his. His tongue slid and twisted around his mouth and Allen's own tongue. The sensation of their naked bodies pressed together—separated only by the thin towel Allen still clung to— had Allen even dizzier than he would be otherwise.

At this point, he couldn't care less about breathing. He wound his arms around Kanda's neck and pulled him closer, pulling Kanda's bottom lip in between his teeth and playfully nibbling at it, earning a low moan in response. Kanda pressed back just as harshly, tipping Allen's head back until his neck craned almost painfully up and his neck pressed hard against the metal stall. Allen couldn't focus on the discomfort if he wanted to— his heart was pounding in his throat and his body was heating up and tingling in a way he'd never quite experienced before. His fingers tangled further into Kanda's hair, little shudders ripping up and down his spine as it caught around his fingers and hands and wrists. A sharp, involuntary gasp escaped him. He shut his eyes, arousal flaring through his veins like a red-hot explosion, moaning softly around Kanda's tongue. He was touching Kanda's hair. Touching _Kanda's_ _hair_. It was knotty and wet and tangled around his hands, but it was Kanda's fucking hair and he'd wanted this so long and it sent shocks of pure _need_ straight to his crotch and he released a desperate moan, tightening his grip in it.

Kanda broke the kiss then, panting harshly, his eyes dark and hooded and smouldering so hotly Allen felt like he might melt.

Breathing heavily, he licked his lips. "Let my emotions get the best of me," Allen said breathlessly, hands still twisted in Kanda's wet hair. The water from the shower sprayed onto him over Kanda's shoulder, and it sobered him a bit, but didn't make the hot, tingly feeling in his body go away. If anything, it made it hotter— the wetness sliding down their bodies made their chests feel slick together, and it made his heart beat faster. "Like that?"

"Exactly like that," Kanda breathed, lowering his head again.

Their lips met for another heated kiss. It was shorter as the steam in the shower made the air thick and heavy to breathe. Kanda pulled away, ducking his head to bite and suck at Allen's neck, cutting off any complaints about breaking the kiss Allen might have made. Allen willingly let his head fall back, his lips in a firm lock with his teeth in an effort to keep from moaning. The shower room echoed, and if he was too loud, he was sure people walking past it outside would hear. He squirmed and panted against the wall as Kanda attacked his neck with teeth and tongue and lips like he would with his words, hands making twin trails of shivers up Allen's torso as they explored every inch of the scarred, pale chest and stomach. His fingers passed over the ridges between Allen's abdominal muscles, which tensed and twitched with every touch. It was happening so fast, it was all Allen could do to keep up— and he barely did that. He wanted so badly to touch Kanda too, but from the mouth on his neck and the fingers that had found his nipples and the feeling and scent and texture of Kanda's hair, he could hardly even keep himself standing.

His head lolled to the side. The stall was so hot. Steam from the shower condensed on the walls and made everything slick and slippery. He could hardly breathe. If he hadn't been so distracted by Kanda's mouth, he might have worried about passing out, but as it was, he couldn't quite find the concern he probably should have. "Kanda…"

Kanda response came in form of a low hum against his neck. Allen shuddered against the wall. The only thing separating them from being in complete skin-to-skin contact was the small towel, which, by now, was soaked with hot water. Allen wasn't sure how it was still up— he wasn't holding on to it anymore, Kanda's hair a bigger priority in his mind. Tentatively, he rubbed his hips against Kanda's. Both exorcists gasped at the friction. After the dizzying jolt of pleasure wore off, Allen did it again, unable to bite back a moan this time. It echoed through the stall. Kanda's teeth bit roughly into his skin. "Sorry," Allen whispered, fighting not to release another.

"Don't fucking apologize," Kanda muttered, yanking the towel away and grinding forward. "Do it _again_."

Their cocks rubbed together, hot and slick with precome and warm water, and Allen couldn't have resisted if he wanted to. His voice echoed off the walls, and Kanda made small moans into his neck. Their heavy breaths seemed to mingle with the steam and make the air even hotter, until Allen was sure he was going to pass out. He grit his teeth together in frustration. He could feel it coming, knew he was close— but it wasn't coming fast enough. He let out a groan, irritated, and hopped up to wrap his legs around Kanda's waist. Kanda was clearly not expecting it; he let out a curse and nearly dropped Allen flat onto his head. The only reason he didn't was because Allen had yanked him back into another sloppy kiss, making Kanda's body press him to the wall with an airy laugh that earned him a fierce glare.

"A little warning next time would be nice," Kanda muttered into the kiss. Allen's heart fluttered in excitement.

"Next time?" he whispered, grinning widely. "There's gonna be a next time?"

Kanda didn't answer, choosing instead to scowl at him. "So, beansprout."

"What?"

"You can take a little pain, right?"

"Yeah…" Allen said slowly. "I've messed up my Innocence a few times, remember?" He grimaced, not wanting to remember that pain while Kanda was oh-so-slowly rubbing their hips together. After a moment of silence and harsh breathing between the two, he flicked his tongue across his bottom lip, meeting Kanda's eyes again. "Why?"

Kanda's face turned bright red. It was so strange to see that all Allen could do was blink and say, "What?"

"I just… goddamnit, are we having sex or aren't we?" Kanda blurted.

Allen raised an eyebrow. "I thought with the whole 'let your emotions get the best of you, bean sprout,'" he made his voice deep and burly in a half-assed imitation of Kanda's, "and the fact that we're naked and you're grinding me into the wall kinda meant that yeah, we were." He was quite proud of himself for saying it all without stuttering.

Kanda shot him a warning glare. "_My point_ is that we don't have any lube."

"Oh," Allen said. The sarcastic grin fell from his face. "We could… you know…" His eyes flicked to the conditioner, then back to Kanda's. He was startled to see a look of amusement. "What?"

"You've never done this before, have you?"

Allen's face turned beet red in less time than it took for him to stutter, "Of course I haven't! What, and you have?" Then he held up a hand. "Actually, you know what? I don't want to know. Don't tell me. Why can't we use conditioner? It's… slippery." His cheeks blazed. He was honestly amazed he was even able to _say_ this with Kanda pressed up against him like this.

"There are all sorts of chemicals and— never mind. This is bullshit." Kanda brought a hand up to his own mouth and sucked three fingers into his mouth. Allen watched and barely repressed a squirm, successfully distracted from the conversation.

"So… uh… spit's better?" he managed, watching Kanda fingers disappear past gleaming lips and vaguely wondering what that mouth would look like stretched around a very interested part of his lower anatomy.

"Not really," Kanda muttered in reply, sliding his fingers out of his mouth.

"There's water," Allen said stupidly.

Kanda rolled his eyes. "I know."

"So why—"

"Do you always talk this much during– never mind." Kanda interrupted himself again. "Of course you do."

Allen frowned, somewhat insulted, but any complaints he may have made disappeared as he felt one of Kanda's callused hands lifting his hips off the wall. The other slithered between the wet surface and his slick back, smoothing over the small indents in his lower back, ghosting across his spine, then trailing lower. His pleasure signals went wild when the very tip of Kanda's longest finger rubbed at the sensitive bud of skin between his buttocks. Suddenly, he wasn't sure where to focus his eyes; looking away seemed to impersonal, but staring at Kanda made his heart feel funny because Kanda was watching him and his reactions intently, and, well, Allen wasn't quite sure how to react to that. He'd figured out Kanda wanted him by now, but he still didn't know how to understand that Kanda might actually have _feelings _for him and might genuinely want to see Allen reduced to gooey lust because of reasons other than wanting dominance. He settled for shutting his eyes. His fingers curled in nervous anticipation at the nape of Kanda's neck. For a moment, time seemed to hang still; Kanda's soft breathing on his neck, solid arms encasing him, cooling water spraying softly over them.

Then, hesitantly, Kanda said, "You're sure, right?"

Allen nodded, not quite trusting his voice enough to speak. This was _happening_. Really happening. It wasn't a dream. For a moment, he could hardly breathe, the situation slamming into him like a hurricane. Then he felt one finger slide in, and the disbelief fell away to make way for the strange, tingly pleasure-pain that flooded his nerves instead. His eyes flew open. Fingers pressing into the back of Kanda's skull, he met a pair of dark blue eyes and found himself unable to look away as hard as he tried. Even as Kanda shallowly thrust his finger in and out, and as Allen felt a fiery pleasure licking at his insides, and as embarrassment painted his cheeks scarlet, he couldn't look away.

Kanda's eyes were nearly black. "Does it hurt?"

Allen let out something like a laugh; a choked sound that would have made him insanely embarrassed if not for the sudden distraction of another finger. "Like you have a problem with hurting me," he breathed. His hips began arching down on their own accord, trying to get Kanda's fingers deeper. It burned and stung, but he'd been through pain that made this feel as insignificant as a paper cut— plus, the pleasure was enough to blind him of the pain anyway. He hardly realized as breathy little whimpers fell from his panting mouth. He buried his face in Kanda's hair, inhaling deeply, trying to keep that last sliver of control intact.

"You're right," Kanda murmured into his neck. A hot tongue flicked at the throbbing pulse on Allen's throat, and then suddenly there were three fingers, thrusting and scissoring and probing without abandon, and Allen's clumsy grip on sanity slipped away. A moan tore itself from his throat and echoed off the walls. His hips jerked down needily, desperate gasps making him dizzy. Kanda's teeth were latched firmly in the soft skin of his neck in an attempt not to let loose any sounds, but Allen could feel his voice vibrating on his skin. That familiar heat was pooling in the pit of his abdomen again, but this wasn't like any other time; somehow, it was hotter, bigger, _more_ than it had ever been.

Kanda seemed to be searching for something. His fingers wriggled about, blunt nails rubbing Allen's insides, until they finally struck the soft, spongy bundle he was searching for. The only reason Allen didn't cry out at the spike of pleasure that seized him was because he had taken a mouthful of Kanda's damp hair between his teeth and bitten down _hard_.

The fingers bruising Allen's hip dug in warningly. Apparently, Kanda didn't appreciate him biting his scalp, but he couldn't have cared_ that_ much if the way he deliberately struck Allen's prostate over and over again meant anything. Black nails left angry red marks down Kanda's pale back, muffled whimpers and moans and pleads falling without abandon from his lips. Later, he might regret allowing Kanda to render him to this useless, pathetic state. Right now, he couldn't care less.

His back arched away from the wall. Their chests slid together, slick with sweat and water. He tried his hardest to breathe and spit out Kanda's hair at the same time, but it proved too difficult; with a half-mouthful of hair, he gasped, "Kanda– s-stop, stop, I'm ready!"

Kanda pulled away from Allen's neck, leaving a purplish bruise that would probably still be there in a week. Blood reddened his lips, and Allen wondered vaguely if Kanda had bitten him_ that_ hard; then, he decided he didn't care, because Kanda looked damn good with blood smeared on his mouth like that. He was nearly alarmed at how much it turned him on. He was pulled away from his thoughts by the tingling pleasure of Kanda's fingers rubbing at his prostate again. A breathless curse escaped him and his head lolled back against the wall.

"Wh—what—"

"Just taking in the moment," Kanda replied smugly, twisting his fingers _just so_ so that Allen's mouth made a perfect 'O' and his thighs quivered on either side of Kanda's hips. Allen wanted to be mad— really, Kanda was such a smug bastard, rendering him useless like this— but he could hardly focus on _breathing_, let alone thinking.

"Kanda, please!" he cried, utterly frustrated. The coil inside of him was ready to snap, but this teasing, slow pleasure wasn't enough. His entire body trembled with need. Kanda's eyes slanted in a way that normally would have pissed Allen off. Instead, he released another desperate sob. "_Please_." He was going to hate himself for that later, but it was _so_ worth it.

Kanda took his sweet, ever-loving time sliding his fingers out. Allen attempted a glare; he was sure it was a shitty one, but he hoped the message got across anyway. He supposed that he shouldn't be surprised that Kanda was still a complete bastard even when they were in the middle of something as intimate as sex. He growled, kicking his feet desperately. "Fucking _hurry _up, Kanda, you bloody piece of sh—" Abruptly, the fingers were gone. He automatically clamped down on the emptiness, whimpering at the loss. "Jesus, what the hell!" he whined.

"You want me to hurry up, then bitch when I do," Kanda said testily. "Make up your mind." His hands slid down Allen's hips to grip the bottom of his thighs and slide him further up the wall. "Beansprout," he muttered as an afterthought, lining himself up.

"Bastard," Allen replied, breathing heavy. The response was mostly lost under the sharp moan he made as Kanda thrust shallowly into the ridge between his buttcheeks. A breathy, silent moan tickled Allen's neck. His insides clenched down instinctively and he wriggled in desperation. "Stop teasing me and just do it!" he finally snarled, unable to take it anymore.

He felt a smirk at the hollow of his neck, and barely had time to be pissed about realizing Kanda had been trying to get him to snap before something a _lot_ thicker than three fingers was pressing into him. His breath left him. Fingers dug into skin and the world seemed to stop; the only thing that existed was Kanda and this little shower stall, and the blinding pleasure-pain of his body being impaled oh-so-slowly and sweetly. His limbs forgot how to work, and for a moment, all he could do was gasp and cling to Kanda like his life depended on it. In that moment, it felt as though it really did.

Kanda's breathing was labored and uneven in his ear. The fingers gripping Allen's thighs were tight. They remained still for a moment, each of them fighting to regain some sense of control, panting and holding onto each other desperately. Finally, Allen had it in him to breathe, "Move."

For maybe the first time ever, Kanda listened to him without hesitation. The first thrust had them both moaning out loud, clumsily trying to find a rhythm that they could both match, delicious friction making nerves go haywire and brains go fuzzy. Allen felt like he might explode. Their bodies moved together perfectly— touching in all the right places, grinding in the same kind of effortless harmony they achieved when throwing punches. It was perfect._ Kanda_ was perfect. Tears beaded in the corners of his eyes, and he wasn't entirely sure that they were only tears of pleasure.

He let out a particularly loud cry when Kanda spread his legs to their limit and changed the angle, causing each thrust to directly assault his prostate. The hot coil tightened, sending tingly licks of ecstasy through his nerves, and he knew— even though he was incapable of thought— that this wouldn't last much longer. He unintentionally clenched around Kanda, eliciting a breathless, surprised moan that went directly to his aching member. He wanted to warn Kanda that he couldn't hold on much longer, but words escaped him, and all he could do was release something like a cry into Kanda's hair.

"Me too," Kanda breathed. He shuddered against Allen as the smaller man's mismatched fingers clung and tugged desperately at his hair; feeling it, tasting it, inhaling it, like he would die without it. He gripped Kanda's hair like he would a lifeline and without any further warning, everything exploded into vivid white before his clenched-shut eyes. His body tensed, quivering everywhere, as his climax washed over him. Mouth open in a soundless cry, he quaked and shuddered against the slippery wall, just barely hearing Kanda breathe his name into his ear under the sound of his own racing heartbeat pounding in his head. He felt Kanda release into his body and whimpered, coming down from his high, small shocks continuing to wrack his body as they fell into silence in their afterglow.

Very slowly, he untangled his fingers from Kanda's knotted hair. He forced heavy eyelids open. Kanda's were still shut, his cheeks a dark red, mouth open in a harsh pant. Allen's mind was still sluggish from the high, but he found the energy to lean forward and press their lips together again. This time, it was soft and quick, but it still made his heart flutter and tummy warm. Kanda's eyes fluttered open.

"We probably don't have much time left before we have to leave," he said quietly. He backed away slowly, almost reluctantly. Allen's legs fell from around his waist and he stood leaning against the wall, thighs weak and shaky, unable to tear his eyes away from Kanda's.

For a long moment, the stood there, just looking at each other, until Allen finally said, "You're right." He gingerly sat down on the wooden bench. Careful not to lean on his bottom the wrong way, he hesitantly picked up the bar of Aloe soap and held it out. "Here," he said, flushing. "This is what you actually came here for, right?"

Kanda paused for a moment. Clearly, he'd forgotten about that. "Right," he eventually muttered, taking it. He turned to leave, but stopped. Then, quickly, he bent to press a chaste kiss to Allen's lips and murmured something like, "We have a private cabin in the train on the way there."

Allen's cheeks reddened. "Yeah," he said, voice shaky with anticipation. An involuntary grin quirked his lips, and he winked. "Don't wear anything complicated under your uniform, yeah?"

Kanda rolled his eyes, but Allen didn't miss the ghost of a smirk as Kanda turned and left his shower stall. With a heavy sigh, he leaned back onto the wall, letting the cooling water spray against his weak legs.

He sat there for a good ten minutes after Kanda was gone, still reeling in shock and recovering from the most powerful climax he'd ever hit in his life. Eyes glazed, he finally decided it would be a good idea to wash himself off. Evidence of their little _event_ was still splattered on his chest and stomach. On shaky legs, he got up, ignoring the sharp pain in his lower areas. He stood under the now-frigid water and tried to wrap his mind around what had just happened. He was mostly unsuccessful, except for something that occurred to him which made his heart start pounding again— Kanda had made a move on _him_. Sure, the only reason he'd come over in the first place was because Allen had taken his favorite soap, but still. That was no reason to pin Allen to the wall and fuck his brains out.

And oh God, had he ever. Allen's stomach was heating up just thinking about it. _And he basically promised me it was going to happen again. _This mission was going to be different, that was for sure.

He squeaked the taps shut and the water turned off. He stood there for a few more moments, trying to get ahold of some form of normalcy, but failed. Sighing, he wrapped the towel around his waist and shoved the curtain aside, walking unsteadily towards the lockers so he could change.

As he passed the shelves of soap again, something caught his eye. He took a closer look, and what he saw made an involuntary grin curl his lips. "Kanda, you liar," he breathed.

There, in a little green basket, sat six more bars of Aloe scented soap.

**xxXXxxXXxx**

**KissMeDeadlyT-T: I'm actually… kinda okay with this one? Idk **

**Thanks for reading! I'd love it if you'd take some time to let me know what you thought :)**


End file.
